LCU Student Turns in Rushed, Mediocre Assignment at Last Second

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LOKAL – Last Sunday at precisely 12:01 AM, Matthew Jenny, an English student, turned in a rushed, half-finished assignment at the exact last minute in order to not have his paper counted late. The assignment, a one page paper on the importance of turning in projects on time, included many spelling errrors and quite a few inconsistencies. Inconsistencies included terrible placement of paragraphs,

Punctuation that was nonsensical; and word choices that pleasantly seemed to only aspire to help create a motivation to fulfill a word count requirement rather than actually genuinely and pleasantly sum up the point of the paper.

“I was just so tired,” Matthew Jenny would have said if we actually bothered to interview him. “And I just wanted to get it done.”

Jenny’s teacher, Carlo Bendenheinen, was disappointed on his lack of work. We did not interview him either, but we are just assuming that he was disappointed because he seems like the person who would be disappointed by things like that. I don’t know

At least Matthew Jenny did not insert a paragraph written by another person, similar to how I, Larry the Intern, am writing this paragraph while Brandon is watching YouTube videos.

No doubt Jenny is excited for Summer Break, something that has made his motivation to complete his assignments on time dissipate. Rumors have even arisen that his paper ended in mid-sente

I’m Brandon Greer, and this is In Further News?

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